So I literally just spent a few moments looking at my old tumblr posts and i just found it really weird how things have changed. I haven’t used tumblr in a while so it is weird scrolling back through. One of the main reasons i stopped is because I felt like a large majority of my personal posts have been really depressed now days, and when I scrolled back, I was actually able to find happy ones. I feel like during my whole high school career, everything slowly became worse. I have changed so much. I have little friends now days and I am fully lonely. I don’t know. I know it is stupid and stuff but i really miss the old days where i was just happy and free. I didn’t think much about the future.
Nonetheless, I feel like some of the decisions I made in those “happy” times has thus resulted in my constant depression today. I am trying to correct those decisions but it hurts like hell. I want to go back to the way that I was before, but maybe a little more mature…
So yeah. I have never cried so much about the present, and smiled so much about the past in one day. I just really hope this is worth it.
If anything this blog has served as a reminder to me that there was good moments in High School. I feel like they were all hidden under the misery of my junior and senior year.
I’m trying to move forward, and fix the relationships that I have so carelessly destroyed over the years. I don’t know.